


Cardinal

by Newtavore



Series: Fragility [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Awkward Kissing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, M/M, Sappy, all the fluff okay, sort of, unplanned sloppy makeouts, vantascest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-28
Updated: 2014-02-28
Packaged: 2018-01-14 02:37:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1249603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Newtavore/pseuds/Newtavore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Karkat is a bit of a stalker and Kankri is annoying, as always.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cardinal

**Author's Note:**

> I almost named this Cardinal Sin, but I restrained myself. I am so proud of me.

Kankri reminds you of a bird.

 

 

It's a strange thought, to be sure, but the more you observe him, and the more you mull it over in your head, the more apt the comparison becomes. He reminds you of a bird, the fat red ones the humans call cardinals- one of the small, annoying ones, that sings and sings and sings and poofs out its feathers to make itself seem bigger, more important. 

 

But the thing about birds is that they're breakable. Small, fragile, and fine boned, you had to hold them gently or they would shatter, and, as you watch him, you notice the same is true for Kankri. 

 

He's soft in ways you aren't, but you'd never say weak. Not with the strength of his goddamned lungs. But… there's an air about him, of something broken and delicate, something you can't quite put your finger on. 

 

It bugs the shit out of you, so you corner him. 

 

It was, in hindsight, not the best course of action. He balked at your prodding, poofed out his feathers and chirped on and on about triggers and what have you. If you hadn't have been watching ( _stalking_ ) him the past few weeks, you would have never noticed the fine trembling of his hands, or the way his eyes twitched, as if they were darting from exit to exit. You would have never noticed the way his voice wavered slightly over some words, how he relaxed when you stepped out of his way and stopped trapping him in his desk. 

 

It was a bit surprising to find out that Kankri the erroneous douchewaffle actually had legitimate triggers. 

 

You don't know why the revelation surprised you. He had to have  _some_  reason to walk around and rant about that shit, but you'd never really thought about it. Never thought about why he was so obsessed with triggers and warnings and offensiveness. You don't think he realizes that, by trying not to be offensive, he's actually offending people. 

 

That misconception is also pretty quickly corrected. 

 

You learn ( _by stalking him some more_ ) that he knows exactly how offensive his words are, and exactly what to say to piss off whomever he's currently talking to the most. You can see the way he relaxes when people walk away, despite his protests. You can hear the robotic, almost untrollian way his voice echoes, as if  _he's_  not even listening to himself speak anymore. He wants to alienate these people. He wants them to hate him. 

 

Why?

 

So you follow ( _stalk_ ) him some more. You notice little things, like how he never seems to sleep or eat, how he hardly ever speaks unless it's  _at_  someone, how he seems so lonely, yet happy to be that way. How he shakes when he's trapped in a space with any other troll, or how he flinches around loud noises. How he seems so uncomfortable being in any sort of social situation. 

 

You notice how painfully, awkwardly shy he is when it comes to actually talking  _to_  people, and not at them. How his confidence is a false front, and how he curls in on himself when his chosen victims run screaming from the area. How he cries, sometimes, when he thinks no one is around to hear him. 

 

You find yourself pitying the everliving  _fuck_  out of the stupid sap, and you're not entirely sure what to do about it. 

 

If Kankri was a bird, then you were an elephant- large, cumbersome, and capable of a great amount of damage. You're not even sure if you could control your strength enough to touch him without bruising him. Where he was lithe and delicate, with fine bones and frail limbs, you were stocky and packed with muscle, years of fighting for your life making you thick skinned and tough. 

 

You grew up in as opposite of circumstances as could be created, and it showed. He took time, made choices carefully, thought everything through. You worked on instinct, making split second decisions, and plans? Plans were stupid. Plans got people killed. 

 

Which is probably why you walked over to him. Probably why you leaned into his space, looked him straight in the eyes, and said, "Trigger warning: Unplanned sloppy makeouts." Probably why you then proceeded to kiss him, right out of the blue. Not even you were sure where that came from, just that you were sick and tired of seeing him rip himself apart for something so fucking dumb. Not that you had any clue  _why_  he was doing the things he was doing, but it's Kankri. If he's doing it for a reason, that reason is probably dumb. 

 

Your thoughts are racing a mile a minute- he's just standing there, he's not doing anything, this is getting really awkward because isn't he supposed to be kissing back, or pushing you away, or something?- but he doesn't move, he just stands there, stock-still, pale eyes open as wide as they get. 

 

From here, it's much easier to see the deep shadows under them, the tired lines carved into his face by chronic insomnia. You wonder why he doesn't sleep. 

 

Finally- finally!- he moves. He shivers, and his hands flutter over your shoulders, like he doesn't know what to do with them. He probably doesn't. You don't think he's ever been kissed before. 

 

You move slowly, trying not to startle him, and ever so carefully frame his face with your broad, sickle-scarred hands. He leans into the touch almost unconsciously, and lets out a shocked chirp when you swipe your tongue against his lips. 

 

Taking advantage of that small noise, you slip your tongue through the gap and into his mouth and he melts, suddenly leaning a lot more weight on you than before. You make your own chirr, triumphant, when you realize his knees are shaking too much to fully hold him up. 

 

Take that, Sollux. You are  _too_  a good kisser. Lying-ass fucker.

 

Kankri whimpers- actually  _whimpers_ \- as you pull away, and you nuzzle his cheek in response, purring. 

 

"I am so fucking flushed for you," you murmur, kissing his cheek, his jaw, his nose, "You have no idea how fucking flushed I am right now. For you."

 

He stutters. You, Karkat Vantas, have done the impossible. You have managed to knock Kankri Vantas completely speechless. Someone check the windows for meteors because you just started up the fucking apocalypse. Again. 

 

"K-karkat while I have to thank you for tagging your triggers and I cannot de-deny that I am in fact as- as  _f-f-flushed_  for  _you_  as you appear t-to be for  _me_ -" he scrunches up, hiding half of his red-tinged face in the collar of his sweater, "I- you are aware that I- I can't really-"

 

You roll your eyes and kiss his forehead. His nose wrinkles in the most adorable manner and, okay if you looked like that whenever you were flustered you can see how some people would think you're… cute. As much as you'd deny it to your grave, and further. 

 

"Yeah, yeah, the vow of celibacy and all that shit," you say, and he looks indignant and is opening his mouth for what you can tell will be a doozy of a speech, so you press a chaste kiss to his lips, and he falls back into stuttering again. You are  _god_. Thank you past Karkat for being a genius and discovering this method of shutting Kankri the fuck up.

 

"You can't do anything involving a pail, got it. I'm fine with that, fine with waiting until you decide you want to, or if you never want to, that's okay too. I am capable of thinking with something other than my bulge, you know."

 

Kankri looks scandalized, shoulders raised,  _poofed feathers_ your mind whispers, but leans closer anyway, and you remove your hands from his face to pull him to you. He's just tall enough that you can comfortably tuck your head under his chin, pushing your ear flat against his chest to listen to the wild fluttering of his remembered heartbeat. 

 

"Humans have this thing called asexuality, you know? Not the same as chastity- there are humans who just don't  _like_  pailing, or whatever the fuck their equivalent is. They still get along fine in relationships, so I figure this can't be too hard. If  _humans_  can do it, anyways."

 

 Kankri hesitantly raises his hands and wraps them around you, returning your hug. Fine boned, fragile like bird wings. You can feel the little knobs of his wrists pressing against your back, the bumps of his joints, the points of his spine under your own hands. 

 

"I… I suppose if you'd like to commence a relationship with me I don't- I-" he buries his face in your hair before continuing, muffling the rest of his words, "I don't think I have any objections."

 

You grin, separate, and pull him back down for another kiss, this one going a bit more smoothly. You're still going to have to teach him how to actually reciprocate, but whatever. It's not like you don't have time. Not like he doesn't have time. 

 

"Good. Because I think it would have broken my shriveled, blackened bloodpusher if you'd shot me down without giving me a chance."

 

He mutters something, hiding his face behind the too-large sleeves of his sweater, and you laugh. You're happy. You're fucking happy, and isn't that a shocker. 

 

You should have known it would take some romcom quality shit to get you to feel this elated. You're sure someone is laughing at you somewhere, but you can't bring yourself to care all that much. You're holding this tiny little bird in your hands, trying not to crush it, and you think, for once, you actually have a chance at not fucking up something you love. 

**Author's Note:**

> Could be seen as part of the Fragility verse, if you squint and classify this as a prequel. I just wanted fluff.


End file.
